I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
