And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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