Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
