wat bout pragnant strippers??
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
