he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Im part way to drunk.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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