I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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