Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
