Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize