I need help removing her.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
