I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The air was thick with penises
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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