Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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