You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
