im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
