I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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