What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
