apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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