Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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