why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
