I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
