I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
