I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
