I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
