the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I fill condoms, not promises.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
