Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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