that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
