I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
