I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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