He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
