Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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