Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize