is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
