just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Randomize
