It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
