I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Verdict: uncircumcised.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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