He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
