still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
