I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
