It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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