this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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