My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
