meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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