i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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