you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
