any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
