watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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