no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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