John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
