did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
