yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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