Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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