bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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