I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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