Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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