i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
