Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
