Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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