Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
