He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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