i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
