you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
