I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
