i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
